5+2 alcoholic drinks you could try this weekend

1. Disco Gin, India. The blinding cousin of Bombay Sapphire smells like catfish and boasts a rare oily texture. No mixer in the world will soften the blow. Dance steps recommended when you have to make a run for the bathroom.

2. Dynasty, China. This red wine can be distinguished by its unique bouquet which gives a whole new meaning to the word "stale". The imaginative makers of this wine must have been inspired by the dryness of the Gobi desert and the thinness of the finest rice paper. There is no way Dynasty could be served in France without the sommelier facing 2 years behind bars. Thank God it used to be so expensive one could only afford it once.

3. Bia Hoi, Vietnam. As featured in Wikipedia: "The beer is brewed daily and each bar gets a fresh batch delivered every day in plastic jugs. It is a very light (~3% alcohol) refreshing lager at a fraction of the cost of draft or bottled beer in the Western-style bars. Bia Hơi production is informal and not monitored by any health agency." Best to be consumed in gallons (in the pic on the left) while sitting on kid's sized plastic chairs by the road side. Taste, texture, and smell vary from endearing to somewhat odd.

4. Cachaça, Brazil. This rum like liquor made from fermented sugarcane juice is best known as the basis of the popular drink caipirinha. Should you like to be different this weekend try this: Buy the cheapest bottle of Cachaça somewhere in the vicinity of Rio de Janeiro's slums. Carry it to your home country. Consume it like the Brazilian alchies, straight and luke warm. Bonus prize: There's a fair chance that you'll pass out in the subway.

5. Slivovitz, the Balkans. If consumption of this plum brandy is began in early teen years, chances are that by the age of 14 the future bum can boast a skin free of zits and his first wrinkles the following year. It's also known from Swedish musical contest Melodifestivalen, where the brilliant group Andra Generationen performed a song called "Kebabpizza Slivovitza."

+ 1 Red Horse, Philippines. I've praised the world's most sympathetic beer earlier here.

+ 2 KLB Rasberry Wheat, Ontario, Canada. I wrote about a travel disaster related to world's most refreshing beer here.

Drugged in Cambodia - worst of traveling, top 5

1. As the backpacker bus from Bangkok reaches Poipet on the Cambodian border realize that you are the only traveler on the bus whose ticket is valid only to Poipet instead of the site of Anchor temples, Siem Reap, 8 hours on from the border. Get absolutely pissed when the driver demands you to flash in more bahts to take you to Siem Reap and walk out of the bus.

Flag down a tuk tuk and enter Cambodia on your own. Not knowing what's awaiting, feel a certain sense of pride of not letting those scammers take advantage of you. Flag down a pickup truck and let it tour you around the nasty little hell hole that's Poipet while it tries to pull more passengers. After an hour's tour find yourself crammed on the tiny cargo bed with 15 adults and three kids - it's painful. When the pick up finally hits the road let a weather worn old woman drink from your water bottle when she asks for a sip. Take a gulp yourself. You stupid jackass!

Drop your head to your knees as if life had been sucked out of your body and feel yourself falling asleep like you'd just taken a kick ass sleeping pill which makes Tenox, Stille Nacht and Imovane seem like pills adequate only for the lobotomized.

Regaining consciousness later on realize that your wallet is missing and then thank God when you retain it after noticing that the fat stupid ugly woman opposite you is hiding it in her skirt. Finally in Siem Reap realize that the reason why she smiled handing it back to you was not because she was sorry but because she still had your camera.

2. Manaus Brazil - the old rubber capital of South America with a pink opera house left as a reminder of its days of glory before rubber seeds were smuggled to Malaysia and the rubber industry in the Amazon consequently ruined, is nice only if you have a fetish for begging cripples. Otherwise steer clear from it.

3. On your first day in Montego Bay, Jamaica, find your way out of the resort area since it just sucks. Let your traveling duo be approached by a fellow, who only seems to want to show you that he excels in questioning you on where are you from, what do you do, and what is your name, blaah, blaah, blaah. Half an hour later, as the guy gets more and more tedious by the minute, exchange a few words in Finnish with your friend and decide to ditch the bore.

Next, learn that labeling this dude dull was a serious error of judgement, when he demands to be payed for being your guide to this shit hole while a group of his comrades suddenly appears from nowhere and surrounds you to make sure you understand the gravity of his demand. After an attempt to beat Jamaicans at 100 meter sprint race, relent and give the bugger 20 bucks. Hate Jamaica ever since.

4. Meet the only hot English teacher on the planet in a guesthouse on the outskirts of Beijing, China. Have a great night out in Sanlitun whisking down Tsingtaos like you had just escaped a desert monastery run by the sisterhood of thou shalt not drink.

Wake up seriously hangover 5 minutes before your bus to Simatai to see the Great Wall of China. On the way, eat the leftovers of a spinach pie that did not taste good to begin with. Feel a little sick and eat nothing the whole day - after all you've got a dinner date with the hottie that night. At dinner, refuse to eat, but agree to the suggested albeit slightly odd drink of warm lemon juice mixed with milk, which is supposed to make you feel better. After a few sips, politely excuse yourself as you storm out of the bathroomless restaurant to puke behind the corner. Repeat this a few times and do not wonder why the hottie never asked for your e-mail address.

5. Only's, the bar favorite in Peterborough, Ontario, Canada, ran out of KLB Breweries' Raspberry Wheat one night. I cried.