The man who traveled 3 days to get cookies from Jaisalmer

The ex-news presenter, ex-monk, and now a meat eating oddjob, who was mentioned earlier here, popped up again while I was still in Delhi. These are the focal points of our discussion:

1. He thinks he has found the secret to being comfortable in Delhi. On this trip to India, after being in Delhi and in the country for a few days he felt it was all too much. So he took a train to Jaipur, waited there for 9 hours, then took a night train to Jaiselmer, his beloved city of the golden fortress. But it wasn't the fortress he wanted to visit, it was the famous government authorized bhang shop. He asked them to bake him thirty cookies, which took them 4 hours. After that he jumped on a train back to Delhi where, after three days of traveling to Jaisalmer and back, he now eats one cookie a day for the next few weeks before heading home.

2. He once spent three months in Pushkar with a family, who's daily routine it was to have a bhang lassi every day at noon. His representation of the 70-year-old grandfather coming trembling to the table to get his daily dosage has undoubtedly earned him standing ovations from other backpackers.

3. After six years as a monk in the Buddhist center of Dharamsala he is back to eating meet, drinking, smoking and orgasming when having sex.

4. Sharing all this info took him about 40 minutes.

5. He wanted me to call him "my master". I refused and decided it was about time to get moving.

(Bhang is a type of high quality weed.)

Next post: Amritsar and the Golden Temple

10 do's for Delhi

1. Find out if the half naked man lying in a featal position on Chandni Chowk is really dead or does he need help. Do it the Indian way: stare! Then get embarrassed by realizing that the other onlookers aren't laughing at the man's bare ass but at you, seemingly interested in it.

2. Persist and witness the man move. Then wonder what could you possibly have done, had the man been dead?

3. Let a Pahar Ganj bus operator try to lure you into buying an all inclusive five day trip to Srinagar for 125 euros - accommodation included in his family's house boat. Then find this scam in the Lonely Planet, which states that people, who go on these pre-organised Srinagar trips have been taken hostage on these "my family house boats"! Decide that you absolutely want to go Srinagar, but not with this guy who simply lied to you about the road to Leh being already closed.

4. Spend a jolly morning with Guddu from Swing India Travels and teach him how he could get a blog. After wasting the man's time for two hours by not being able to decide finally book a ticket to Amritsar.

5. Escape the raging monsoon to the next dirtyish hole in the wall restaurant to feast on a huge, 25 rs masala dosa. Cheaper than buying an umbrella the price of which eventually went down from 150 rs to 100 rs.

6. Visiting the Jama Masjid, the biggest mosque in India, decide that it makes a nice stop mainly for the reason that it was built Shah Jahan and it's nice to compare it to Taj Mahal. Otherwise it's pretty bland - but it's free, so who's complaining. Beware of the con-artists who try to sell you 20 rs tickets.

7. Learn to use the Delhi metro. It's so clean and cool! And why on earth are all the people on the streets and not in this urban rail heaven? Do they like being pushed?

8. Get lost in the side streets of Chandni Chowk. Next time you are in Delhi you'll know where to buy stationaries and copper wire.

9. Let the Red Fort exceed your expectations. Not only is it not as boring as people say it is, it also makes a lovely getaway from the havoc on the streets.

10. Let a man in the ear cleaning business tell you, what an interesting job it is. You get to know, if people's ears are clean or really dirty.

Next stop: Amritsar! Then hopefully Srinagar, Leh and Manali.

Read where to eat in Delhi here.

Delhi: News update

1. 5 girls died in a stampede in a Delhi school. The kids were running away from the classroom which had open electric wiring and it was pouring down rain - into the classroom, I assume. The girls were stomped to death by their classmates.

2. It's still freaking raining and I've done nothing today.

3. I did meet a guy who had been a monk in Dharamsala for 6 years after giving up his career as a television presenter for a cable network. I spoke to him for a short time as he was off to eat some magic cookies.

4. A man killed his 12-year old niece as he was tired of paying for the poor orphan's HIV treatment. (This was in Lucknow though.)

5. Oh, and Freddy, after knowing me for 15 minutes, decided to give me his Lonely Planet India. Do I look that lost?!

Delhi as a first point of entry into India

My first day of the trip here in Delhi was... most uneventful. I arrived safe and sound, took a 50 rs bus to Connought Place and a ricksha to my prebooked guesthouse in Pahar Ganj.

I thought I had been tricked into paying too much for the first time on this trip before even stepping on Indian soil as I had agreed over e-mail to pay Ajay guesthouse 490 rs (8 euros) for a night even though the website said the price was 300. But I had a whopping room: A flat screen tv, air con, window with a view and hot water!

So really nothing to write home about. No bugs, no Delhi belly, no nothing. I guess the oddest thing that happened was a midget of a guy trying to sell me sex (1000 rs a night) but he was a far cry from the Jaisalmer geezer a few years back who tried to convince me what a good idea it would have been to fuck a horse.

I had plenty of chai, a Punjabi thali and said no to a zillion people trying to sell me the usual Indian stuff ranging from ear cleaning service to hashish.

Thankfully, I met Laura. It was her first day in India ever and she was petrified. The noise, the traffic, the "what is your name" guys, the repetition of the question, the dirt, the scammers, the windowless room for which she paid an exorbitant price, the hassle it is to buy train tickets, homeless people sleeping on side of a motorway, lack of hygiene, inadequate street signs, and the rest. All of which reminded me of my first day in Mumbai a few years back. Everyone who arrives in India for the first time and claims not to have a culture shock is phony.

Yet, we keep coming back.