Another unforgettable journey in Kashmir

In the summer of 2008, serious communal violence resulting in dozens of fatalities, followed by massive strikes, curfews and business shut downs , left Kashmir mostly paralyzed. With the buses out service, you, in a momentary lapse of reason, decide to hitchhike your way through the troubled valley.

After 20 minutes of waiting along the Srinagar-Jammu highway, a jam-packed rustic station wagon that sort of resembles a jeep pulls over to pick you up. You cram yourself in the cargo area next to an elderly man with a taqiyah and opposite his two roughly 18-year old nephews who start up a light-hearted discussion with you. The nature of the conversation turns slightly more serious when the car passes an Indian military roadblock. “We don’t like Indians” exclaims one of the boys, “they’re ruining Kashmir”, to which everybody nods in agreement. The other boy points outside to a mural of the J&K National Panthers Party logo accompanied by the text 'Free Kashmir'.

Repudiating of Indian authorities goes on for several minutes (with western democracies getting their share of criticism) and as you finally try fit a word in, one of the boys interrupts you: “My father, he dead now…he make a sacrifice”. Then it hits you: these guys are fucking separatist militant nut jobs. Why on earth did you get in this car? Before you can properly assess the situation, the driver asks you in a poignant tone: “What religion are you?”.

Aw, shit! Now what? Saying that you don’t believe in god probably wouldn't go down too well with these guys, and since you couldn’t really pass yourself off as anything else, you decide to go with good ol’ Jesus. “I’m…uhhh…Christian?”. Total silence. The intimidating stares of your fellow passengers causes sweat to run down your brow as the guidebook stories of decapitated tourist spring to your mind. This is it, you’re fucked now, young man.

After the longest 15 seconds of your life the old man next you breaks the silence: “You know, Christianity is not that much different from Islam”. Pheeew, you know that feeling you get when you take a huge dump? Oh Jesus, Allah, Buddha, I love you all!

For the next hour or so the old man recites stories from days past when he was actively involved in the Kashmir conflict, and proudly informs you that the young generation is shaping up nicely. Inspired by the magnate’s words, the two boys divulge that after the Ramadan they were heading back to Srinagar to prove their worth.

The car finally reaches the town of Anantnag, and, although having had an interesting journey, you’re glad it’s over. As you pick up your rucksack and head for the door the old man grabs your shoulder. “By the way”, he says and presents you with his business card, “if you ever need a dry cleaner”.

Contributed by Toxic Waste Man a.k.a Aleksi

Read about my unforgettable Kashmiri journey here, how to find the perfect houseboat here and tips to Srinagar here.

The alternative guide to Kashmir

1.Visit Pahalgam.

Set on the banks of the Lidder river and sandwiched between snow capped mountains, the small town of Pahalgam is a must-see for all those visitng Kashmir. This used to be hot spot for domestic tourists, but after the advent of the armed insurgency in Kashmir most have relocated to the less spectacular Kullu and Parvati valleys. In addition to being scenically superior to the mountain towns of Himachal Pradesh, in Pahalgam stoned New Age hippies who consider wind chimes a musical instrument are conspicuous in their absence, so you don't have to endure discussions on the celestial properties of a rock. However, in summertime hordes of Hindu pilgrims show up here for the start of the pilgrimage to the holy Amarnath caves.

There's not much to do expect to walk around and be overwhelmed by the dramatic scenery of the fertile valley. There a some great one day hikes up to magnificent viewpoints and those who are staying longer should do treks to nearby mountain lakes and glaciers. Whatever you do, don't try climbing the mountains without a guide. I did, and what happened? I lost my passport. Yeah, I took my passport up a mountain, so what? I know it was fucking retarded, but what can you do?

Also be sure to visit the apple orchards on the northeastern edge of town where they produce the apples on the planet, no contest. The owners let you eat as many as you want and refuse to accept any payment, although they'll happily bum your cigarettes.

2. Having established myself as a respected food critic on this blog, I feel it is my duty to give you some insight on Kashmir’s culinary specialties.

The best to experience the local cuisine is to accept one the numerous invitations you'll receive to join a local family for dinner. Dining with Kashmiri family is a fascinating experience that gives unique perspicacity to the local lifestyle and the greatest honor is to receive an invitation to celebrate the Eid ul-Fitr (the end of the Ramadan), when the whole kinfolk gathers for a full-day feast. The main entry is the wazwan, a Kashmiri buffet so delicious it rivals the best South Indian dishes. During Eid food is consumed the duration of the whole day, and as my hosts joked:"Some people, after the Ramadan, eat too much food and then they die!". Yes, that is hilarious.

3. If your houseboat's bathroom has a window, you can entertain yourself by peeking out on the lake after flushing your toilet and see your fresh turd plunge in the lake. It's as funny as it sounds, but this toilet humour has a sinister undertone. The beautifully serene Dal lake is decaying from all sewage that is flushed into it causing overgrowth of weeds a shrinking water levels. So if you're visiting Kashmir and are enticed by the perfect mirror images of mountains displayed on the lake, bear in mind that it's essentially a pool of liquid shit.

4. To get an alternative perspective on Srinagar, take a walk around town during night. Apart from a few military patrols the the streets are completely deserted. They soldiers will tell you to go back to sleep, but if persist long enough, they'll happily give you a short walking tour through the haunting moonlit city, sharing their stories of the armed conflict that has plagued the valley for two decades . It's an unforgettable experience.

5. The vale of Kashmir boasts holy sites for Hindus (Amarnath Caves), Muslims (Hazbara Shrine which hosts a hair of the prophet Mohammad) and even Christians. What holy Christian site could Kashmir possible have? Oh nothing, excpet the tomb of Jesus Christ! That's right, the Rozanbul mausoleum in Srinagar's old town claims to be the final resting place of the son of god, Jesus of Nazareth himself. Evidence for this are the cemented footprints which contain holes in each foot indicating crucifixion. This hardly constitutes as absolute proof, so allow me to elaborate: According to the new testament, after his crucifixion Jesus rose from the dead and ascended to heaven. As all Kashmiris well know, Kashmir Is heaven, thus we can conclude that after his resurrection Christ hiked all the way to Srinagar.

There, using my infallible logic I have corroborated that Jesus rests in Srinagar, thereby giving all Christians the opportunity to get closer to their Lord and savior than ever before. You're welcome...

Contributed by Toxic Waste Man, a.k.a Aleksi.

You may read the original Srinagar post here and a guide to finding the perfect houseboat here.

Srinagar to Leh in one go - a very bad idea

I have only myself to blame. I was told to spend two days on the road from Srinagar to Leh, making a stop half way at Kargil.

Seven o'clock in the morning at the Srinagar taxi stand I found out that I could do this trip in a one very long day. I thought it was brilliant. I'd get to Leh late in the evening but I'd save one day.

The journey began well. I made friends with Natasha, a cool English gal, and a funny backpacker guy, who at our first fuel stop somehow managed to find weed that was growing on the empty lot next to the petrol station.

The smirk on his face was priceless when he showed us what he had bagged.

The first 10 hours of the drive went superbly despite the fact that for some reason we did not stop to eat anywhere and we were getting rather hungry. But the views were gorgeus. I envied the few people we met travelling this road on an old Enfiel.

Then it got dark. The load of trucks that passed by on the tiny road were no longer a source of nervous excitement. They were hell. On the other side there was a rocky wall and on the other a 300 meter fall.

Five hours passed in relative silence. Then our driver got a phone call after which he asked us if we had booked a guesthouse in Leh. Upon hearing that we hadn't he insisted that we'd stay for the night in Nimmu as we would not be able to find a place to stay in Leh that late.

It was about 11 o'clock. We were and hour away from Leh. We refused flatly.

Half an hour passed. Then our driver told us that the road to Leh was blocked because of an truck accident. We certainly did not believe that. This guy was obviously getting a comission from the guesthouse he wanted to take us to.

A little before midnight we reached a queue of trucks. We still did not believe that we could not go. We were only about 15 minutes from Leh and the day had been exhausting.

So we walked up to the other end of the queue to see what the problem was. And yes, there was indeed a truck laying on the road, blocking all the traffic on the tiny mountain pass.

Embarrassed we walked back to our Jeep to tell our driver that we'd stay in the guesthouse for the night.

Once we got there, it turned out that we were not the only ones wanting to stay there. What was left for us at the Chamba View guesthouse was a room which did not even have beds not to mention mattresses. The windows were broken and the Himalayan night outside was freezing cold. They only had one blanket to give us. Thank God I had a sleeping bag.

For this hideous room they charged us 300 rupees. But we had no choice. That night we had a very little sleep.

The next morning we woke up to a glorious sunshine and drove the last 15 minutes to Leh.

It had been quite a journey.

If you are to travel from Srinagar to Leh I strongly recommend doing it with the stop in Kargil.

What to do in Srinagar - 10 tips

1. Upon arriving take your time to find the perfect houseboat to stay. As you probably are arriving late from either Leh or Jammu, spend the first evening just chilling on the front deck of the boat and soaking in the Kashmiri atmosphere.

There's nothing quite like Srinagar in the evening: the air fills with prayers from the numerous mosques around the city and the different coloured lights of the houseboats give the lake an evocative feel.

2. On your second day go and explore the city. Be forewarned though: the maps in guide books (LP 2007 and Rough Guide 2009) are particularly bad on the city center. So you just have to ask around. In Srinagar that's a pleasure as the people will go out of their way to help you around - free of charge, no guiding. I spent my first day in Srinagar with the wonderful Hilal whom I met in the Jama Mashid, a grand mosque and Srinagar's main place of worship. From there he took me through the bazaars to the

slightly bizarre brick tomb of Mother of Zain-ul-Adidin, to the astonishingly beautiful shrine of Shah-i-Hamadan (in the pic), to Sufi shrine Pir Dastgir Sahib and to a Sikh temple.

3. When visiting the mosques don't be shy about your camera. Do ask before taking any pics but at least in my case the attendants were all too quick to tell me to take photos before I managed to open my mouth. The oddest thing was that the most photogenic looking old men with either piercing eyes or a cool costume came to me and asked me to take their photo as if they knew I wanted to picture them. I'm telling you, they are doing your work for you.

4. Girls, do keep a scarf with you all the time if you intend to visit the mosques. It's mandatory. There's a sign at the Pir Dastgir Sahib saying visitors are not allowed in naked, but that's a serious understatement.

5. If you come here during the Ramadan like I unknowingly did, visit the silly secret cafes. There men, who are supposed to be fasting and keeping a way from cigarettes, make chimneys seem like a blast from the Middle Ages. You will recognise a secret cafe from the curtains on the door. It's like going back to sixth grade when the bad boys smoked behind the corner, away from the eyes of the teachers.

6. On your second day hire a shikara (a roofed little boat, with plush pillows to lie on) for tour of the lake. You'll see floating gardens (the lotuses are in full bloom in end of May), fishermen, floating markets if you get moving early enough (5AM), more of beautiful houseboats and the amazing reflections of the mountains and clouds on the clear, quiet lake.

On the way you can stop to Hazratbal mosque, which with its Taj Mahal -like features, is the only big mosque in the city which looks like a mosque. The others, Kashmiri styled square mosques with balconies are apparently unique in the islamic world.

A full day shikara tour will cost you 600-1000 rupees per boat (9-13 euros).

7. If you are on a low budget like I am, travelling alone and not having anyone to share the cost of boat with, a cheaper alternative is to do the tour on a normal paddle boat and paddle along with your guide. I can tell you, it's good exercise. The cost of renting just the boat with no boatman and no guide is 200-250 rupees for a day. But I think this way you'll only get lost as there are not that many boats on the big Dal lake to get directions from,

8. You should visit one of the gardens for which Srinagar is famed for. I stopped at the Nishat Bagh, a lovely garden built by the emperor Jehagir. I spent a jolly hour there with Ahmed and Zahoor, professors of English and physics. They tought me some Persian:Agar Firdous Baroai Zameen Ast, Hamin Ast, Hamin Ast, Hamin Ast. It means "if there is a paradise on earth, it is here, it is here, it is here. The words which refer to Kashmir are by the emperor Jehangir. In turn I tought Ahmed and Zahoor that Nokia is a town in Finland. I never claimed to be much of a poet.

9. Here's an odd tip: Visit the ATM at the headquarters of Jammu and Kashmir bank at the beginning of Lal Chowk, close to Dal Gate 1. The ATM is housed within the building and you have to ask the guards who are there 24/7 to escort you to the ATM. On the way they might show you pictures of the president of the bank shaking hands with important people and give you some dates to munch on while you withdraw money in the presence of an armed guard. Pretty sweet, eh?

10. Should it rain one evening, watching Enemy at Gates with Jude Law with your 61-year-old houseboat owner is perfect entertainment. The movie, in which Jude Law plays a Russian sniper in the Battle of Staliningrad has absolutely nothing to do with anything which is why it makes such a funny topic of discussion.

As a general rule I can safely state, that the people of Srinagar are the most welcoming I've met during my four trips to India. They are eager to talk to you and will want you to tell friends at home to visit Srinagar as the lovely city is dying to get foreign tourists back. The tourists left Srinagar 20 years ago, when the Hindu-Muslim tensions got to yet another breaking point and a series of terrorist attacks shattered the image of the city - not to mention kidnapping of foreing tourists. But now, and I'm not saying this at gunpoint: if you thinking of visiting India, try to fit Srinagar into your itinerary. It's simply wonderful.

See my previous post on how to find the perfect houseboat here.

9 tips to finding the perfect houseboat in Srinagar

Staying in a houseboat is one of the main attractions of the Kashmiri town Srinagar. The houseboat are like little villas on the Dal lake. They come in all classes from deluxe to D class (D is an official class) so everyone can find a houseboat to suit there wallet.

The problem is that there are more than 1400 houseboats in Srinagar. Many of them can house only a few people at a time so no guide book can really make reference to any certain boat. So you just have to go look for the perfect one yourself.

My perfect houseboat, Shora Palace, cost me 200 rupees a night, including breakfast and delicious dinners, snacks, my own bath with hot water and a lovingly furnished room with a big, soft double bed. Now, be warned though, this is the low season price. The official high season price from April to June is 1250 rupees a night per room. But you of course you can bargain.

Here's how you'll find your houseboat.

1. This is what the Lonely Planet recommends: hire a shikara (a small boat, costs about 100 rupees per hour) and tour the lake as long as you find what you like.

2. The above advice is alright. The problem is though that the shikaras are affiliated with certain houseboats and that's where they are going to take you unless you watch your back fervently. After what usually is either a two day drive from Leh or a one long drive from Jammu, you might not feel like arguing. So if you can, ask other travellers in Leh or in Jammu or Amritsar, if that's where you are coming from, where they stayed, how much it cost and did they like it. I know that you would normally ask other travellers about guest houses anyway but when it comes to houseboats it really is the sound thing to do as you can't just go and walk around. In addition it gives you an edge when talking to the shikara men - you'l look like you know where you want to go.

3. Once on a houseboat candidate make sure you know what's included in the price. The normal fare is meals and shikara rides back to the shore. Is there hot water in the showers? Is the food just rice and dal or do you have a choice? Who else is staying there? If you are travelling alone and feel like talking to somebody in the evening this is not a stupid question.

4. There are houseboats like the Shora Palace which can be accessed from the lakeshore by a bridge. I quite liked having the option of coming and going however I wanted to without the need to ask to be given a ride every time I wanted to go for a walk.

5. Talk to owner long enough to find out if he is knowledgeable about the area and if you actually like him. You end up seeing him quite a bit so it's essential he makes you feel right at home.

6. The price of the stay is usually half if you don't take the meals. Now, this might not be so clever as it first sounds like. I spoke to a couple of starving travellers in the old town of Srinagar who told me that there was nowhere to eat where they were staying at Nigin Lake except one fancy expensive club. On top of that it was the Ramadan, so the restaurants in town where all closed.

7. The houseboats have official price categories. At the time of writing the cheapest price category (D) was 750 rupees a night including meals. The LP promises reductions up to 70 percent in the low season, which is less than the drop I managed to bargain. Oddly enough though I was in Srinagar in September which according to the Planet is the second best season after the spring season of April-June. So as always: bargain.

8. Do not book a houseboat in Delhi! I wrote about the particular scam earlier here.

9. You will know that you've found the perfect place to stay when on top of everything the houseboat owner lends you his wife's Kashmiri style pants as your knee length skirt is too revealing to go into town during Ramadan. (in the pic on the left)

Next post: What do to in Srinagar

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